B"H It is Elul, a month which was always so special, with the sounds of the Shofar on Rosh Chodesh Elul. A time to prepare ourselves for the High Holidays. But somehow this year it feels a bit different, the spark inside and the joy in what used to be so obvious.
Preparing myself for the High Holidays and in particular teshuvah seems more difficult than other years, times are changing, people are changing, especially on social media when dealing with so many different kind of people. I also notice that it not very acceptable anymore to have your opinion. Yesterday something happend that shocked me more than gentiles putting up a mezuzah out of solidarity, some of the replies of other Jews and also Christians. Solidarity lost its meaning. I still have trouble and try to come to terms with the hatred beneath the services. Some replies: "Every Jew who has problems with non- Jews putting up a mezuzah don't even know what a mezuzah is, probably don't have a mezuzah on their doorpost or in their house", or " They are leftish and hate Trump thats why they are against ". We were ungrateful, rude, not Jewish, killing Christinan children to drink their blood, stolen Israel en our faith from the Christinans, the Shema is meaningless, we should just shut up and be thankful. There were more of these insults and it felt like to be driven in a corner and just accept whatever they thrown at us.
Most of the time I felt very upset and at times angry, as there is no need for all of this. When you want to be solidair with us and want to do something to mark October 7, then it would be nice when we were consulted, we are not victims with no voices, a Jew is never alone...we have HaShem.
There are far better ways to show solidarity, wear a Yellow Ribbon, put one on your doorpost, make a poster and put it in the window, in my opinion much more appropriate than a symbol which contains a Kosher klaf inside with the Shema written on it, which is holy. Our symbols are not just symbols they are part of the covenant we have with HaShem.
When our klaf is damaged, we don't throw it away, we bury it accourning to Jewish Law. HaShem's name is on the scroll as it is on the scroll in the ritual box of tefillin and there is a prohibitions against erasing HaShem's name. We do appreciate the heartwarming support and I do apologize if I offended anybody.
I personally was more hurt than offended together with some other Jews as nobody asked us how we felt about this.
I love HaShem, I love His Torah and all I want is to serve Him with all my heart and all my soul.
With Rosh Hashanah approaching, the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah and Yom Kippur, it is time to reflect on the past year, repent for our sins and transgression on Yom Kippur when the gates are wide open to return to HaShem, to change His judgment for the better.
When preparing for teshuvah there are some steps
1. Confession
2. Leaving the sin
3.Committing not to do it again.
Sometimes we do wrong by others, and how do we retify our wrongdoings? In essence teshuvah means return to HaShem. When we mess up with other people and transgressing the mitzvah that applies to loving our fellow Jew, we have to recify this with the other person (s)
To Chana and Katya, I am aware that I did wrong by both of you, I was judgmental and saw faults but not of my own. I sincerely regret this and I do realize it has been for more than two years now that I failed to apologize to Chana, I am so sorry. Katya already has forgiven me, but thinking back make me cringe about myself.
Ahavas HaShem, Ahavas HaTorah, Ahavas Yisroel, they are all one and when we love HaShem and love the Torah, but don't love our fellow Jew, than this love is incomplete. And by healing it and loving our fellow Jew. We will bring the Moshiach very soon.
Wishing all Jews a wonderful and blessed Shabbos.
K'siva Chasima Tova
